Wonderfully Complicated

"Sometimes we are tempted to be that kind of Christian who keeps the Lord's wounds at arm's length.  Yet Jesus wants us to touch human misery, to touch the suffering flesh of others.  He hopes that we will stop looking for those personal or communal niches which shelter us from the maelstrom of human misfortune and instead enter into the reality of other people's lives and know the power of tenderness.  Whenever we do so, our lives become wonderfully complicated and we experience intensely what it is to be a people, to be part of a people."

-- Pope Francis, The Joy of the Gospel, 270

Agony in the Garden

The Agony in the Garden is a remarkable piece of the Passion of Christ.  It is poised between his life and his death – between the Last Supper and the Way of the Cross.  Here we have a story that sends a chill down our spines when we read it – first, because the suffering of Christ touches us.  But we are also disturbed by the passage because it touches something very close to home for each one of us.  The agony of Christ is a familiar struggle – between life and death, between his will and the will of the Father, between the past and the future.

 

Only Luke uses the word “agony” (sometimes translated “anguish”) in his account of the scene at Gethsemane:  “In his anguish, he prayed more earnestly” (Lk. 22:44; NRSV).  The Greek word here is agonia – its original meaning carried the connotation of the athlete’s struggle, conjuring images of a determined runner on his last legs, or the physical and mental pressures faced by a competitive wrestler.  Reflecting this meaning, one Lukan scholar gives a literal translation of the passage as:  “Entering the struggle, he continued to pray even more eagerly” (Luke Timothy Johnson, Sacra Pagina).  Does this athlete struggle up a sweat?  Yes, he does – “and his sweat became like great drops of blood, falling on the ground” (22:44).

 

The agonia of Christ in the Garden offers us a meditation on all kinds of human struggles.  Jesus was not only experiencing the very human dread of suffering and death.  He also faced the “sleepiness” of friends in the midst of his anxiety, the betrayal of one close to him, and the impending desertion of the rest.  Thus he was not only facing death but utter loneliness.  And certainly, in expectation of his death, he naturally looked back at his life – an exercise that in all of its humanity must have included questions and conflict (we know, for example, that Jesus felt conflicted about leaving his followers behind; see Jn. 17:12-15).  Finally, Jesus was clearly being crushed in the all-too-familiar crucible of discernment between his own will in that moment and the eternal will of the Father. 

 

The command of Christ – “Follow me!” – includes walking with him to Gethsemane.  It is a place we go before every Golgotha of our lives.  It is the place of inner turmoil and agonia.  Here we struggle with him, and we watch him, to see what he does and imitate him.  We see him throw himself to the ground and lie in the dirt of the Garden.  Isolated by the sleepiness of his friends, he turns all the more earnestly to the Father.  He prays fervently and honestly.  And the Father, who never deserts his children, does not change the past nor does he remove the trajectory of suffering from his Son’s life.  But he sends an angel to minister to him, and he gives to his Son a resolute spirit.  Here in the Garden, Jesus is strengthened to do what he is called to do, to go where he is called to go, to drink from the cup the Father has given him.   We see him arise from prayer ready to face the hour at hand.  He awakens his friends with a renewed calm and a serene acceptance of his situation:  “My betrayer is at hand.”

 

Our own betrayers are probably not human foes.  We are more likely to simply feel betrayed by the natural circumstances of life – illness, loneliness, failed relationships, financial distress, the death of a loved one, anxiety over our children, the burden of old wounds that won’t heal.  When we carry these burdens, we really have no choice but to follow the Master to the Garden and allow the agonia to play out.  And if we follow him closely, we throw ourselves to the ground and pray honestly.  We accept the quiet comfort the Father offers, rise with a resolute spirit, and drink deeply from the cups that do not pass.

* * * * *

For my full article on The Garden as a Place of Agony written for The Bible Today, click here.

gethsemane_angel-comforts.jpg

 The account of Jesus’ struggle at Gethsemane/Mount of Olives is found in Mt. 26:36-46, Mk. 14:32-42, and Lk. 22:39-46.  John’s Gospel refers to Jesus’ presence in the garden at the time of his arrest but does not narrate Jesus’ anguish (though at his arrest he uses similar language, saying to Peter, “Am I not to drink the cup that the Father has given me?” Jn. 18:11).

A Prayer from Pope Francis

An excerpt from Pope Francis' Apostolic Exhortation The Joy of the Gospel:

"Lord, I have let myself be deceived; in a thousand ways I have shunned your love, yet here I am once more, to renew my covenant with you.  I need you.  Save me once again, Lord, take me once more into your redeeming embrace."

Content with Weaknesses

Several days ago on a long drive to visit a friend, I was thinking about my voice and how I wish it was louder.  I was thinking about Mariah Carey and how she belts out a tune, and how I always wished I could sing like her.  That made me start thinking about how it would also be nice to look like Jennifer Lopez.  And keep house like Martha Stewart.  All with the heart of Mother Teresa. 

 

I don’t usually hear voices in my head, but somewhere in my consciousness I heard a divine chuckle.  And in the laughter, I heard a truth.  For some reason, our God is very comfortable with human weakness.  Have you noticed how he likes small things (“Unless you change and become like children….” Mt. 18:3), broken things (“Those who are well have no need of a physician….” Lk. 5:31), things that in some way must die before they can fully live (“Worthy is the Lamb who was slain!” Rev. 5:12)?  This is a God who creates greatness in ordinary things (“You are only a man!” Jn. 10:33) and who requires of his people a similar way of thinking (“The last shall be first, and the first shall be last.” Mt. 20:16).

 

St. Paul claimed that he boasted of his weaknesses.  He did this because he believed they placed him where he rightfully belonged – on the cross of Jesus.  Is it possible that the things we perceive as weaknesses or failings are actually the things that bind us most closely to the Holy One?  Our weaknesses, our sins, our problems and burdens – yes, they make us small, ordinary, broken.  But they are how we learn about dying and rising, about surrender, about needing a savior, and about what it truly means to be loved.

 

I will never look or sound like a celebrity.  And I will never be worthy to unbuckle the sandal of Mother Teresa much less aspire to her heart!  Like you, I have many things about myself that I would like to change (some more shallow than others!).  But I don’t perceive these things – even my serious weaknesses that are much more than skin-deep – as rotten parts of myself.  Rather they are the part of my humanity that still awaits transformation, they are my emptiness yet to be filled.  They are an invitation to God to be with me, because I know I am not whole by myself.

 

“So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.  Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Cor. 12:9-10).

I Don't Understand Eternity

 

After a very long, very cold winter here in the Northeast, I took my two sons out for a walk on the first nice day we’d had in months.  As we turned a corner onto a long straight sidewalk, my 18-month-old wriggled down from my arms and took off running.  He ran for a third of a mile.  (Fortunately his legs are really short so I was able to keep up!)  I was amused by his reaction to wide open spaces.  He had obviously been indoors far too long.

 

I wonder if this experience could be an analogy for eternity, a concept I don’t understand (and I doubt I am alone).  We understand the limits of this world; we understand the finite.  But the infinite?  We only have brief glimpses of it, short bursts of understanding that flash in our minds and disappear quickly.  I had one of these bursts as I watched my son running as far and free as his little legs would take him after being pent up in the house all winter.  For Eli, being so young, winter was the only reality he could remember.  His was a restricted world – indoors except for quick trips back and forth to the car, bundled in bulky layers, glimpsing the sun only in passing, experiencing the beauties of winter from the other side of a window.  Of course it wasn’t all bad – there was warmth inside, family, food, books and toys.  But spring?  This was new.  It meant being outdoors, a seemingly limitless place full of wonders and discoveries.  It meant boundless freedom that went on and on, all the way down Milford Point Road.

 

Eternity hangs around the edges of our consciousness – a promise we can’t live without, but an incomprehensible future that may scare us a bit because of its…forever-ness.  It isn’t our fault that we just don’t get it – it is something we have never experienced.  But here we trust – we live in trusting expectation.  For now, our winter does have its joys, and one of them is the anticipation of spring. 

 

Eli enjoys the warmth of spring after a long winter.

Eli enjoys the warmth of spring after a long winter.

"No eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the human heart conceived, what God has prepared for those who love him” (1 Cor. 2:9).